LundenTown

 I started off doing everything the way I was taught. I went to church, I got perfect grades, I married my first love. I waited for kids. I went to college and got a job in my field. I paid my bills,my car note, I had my own place to live and carried my husband for two years when he lost his job. 

Then, I got hit with a divorce in the middle of a financial crisis. I collapsed. I moved in with my boss and worked like a slave and tried to find peace. I worked out and lost about 30lbs. I started taking life really slowly and appreciating quiet times and the process it takes to comeback from a tragedy. I learned to work on one thing at a time and not race against some fake clock that no one could hold me to. 

Then, my job ended abruptly and my boss sent me back to my family. I was mad that I was abandoned and didn't have a way to get my own place. I moved in with my sister last summer and slept on her couch as I tried to find a job, get a divorce, and navigate a love life. I finally found a good paying job but I lost my life. Then, I put it in the hands of the sociopath.

He gave me so much attention from afar. He always knew what to say. I saved every penny to see him in Texas. I was flying all around for work and for him. Then, it was time to ruin my life again. I thought I was going to live happily ever after in Texas. We were supposed to put everything together and work hard. But my job decided to play me to the left.

Here I was broke and back in Chicago and all because I kept depending on others to be in my corner. I've been slowly coming back from the depression that accompanied having fallen so far off my pedestal. 

Slowly, I will find peace again. Slowly, I will put my career back on track. I'm exactly where I need to be. I don't have to have it all at once. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 So, I'm going to respect the process of rebuilding. I don't have to have all the clothes and furniture I want right now. I don't have to have trips lined up. I don't have to have the car I want today. 

I'm just happy to be alive. Happy to have my rent money. Happy to have a new place to work. Happy to have friends. Happy to put food on the table. Happy to pay my phone bill. Happy to get away from my parents. Happy to have a resume that gets interviews. Happy to see my niece grow. 

I will not fall into the trap of keeping up with the joneses. I just want to stay alive and take care of my people. And, they don't got no award for that!!! God always provides. I need to be content so that he can bless me with more.