LundenTown

What an eventful day, right? Hot yoga was an excellent way to steer my year in the right direction. New challenge. New Energy. Healthy Practice.

I felt so zen after the workout. Despite having seen Selma directly after, I still feel the high. Also, my body feels better than it did after a massage. I don't need a massage to feel less tense. I just need to do yoga! Just got one of my mats from Connie. It's super old but it will do for now.

Money has been flowing to me freely and effortlessly at time where I am usually flat broke. I'm excited to see my finances get back in shape. Can't wait till I get a new job. Something will open up this year, sooner than later. I'm speaking everything into existence.

This year, like hot yoga, I want to do more cool ass shit. What other out the box things can we find to do?

EXCITED!!! Let's go 2015! 

Any BODY can do yoga! (I love this photo, usually the only yoga photos are of thin people which stereotypes yoga. This should never be the situation. Yoga is for EVERYONE!)

(2/5/15)
Some people are calling Mary Jane's pursuit of a man pathetic. And, if you look closely, I can see why. Although I cried on this episode, it is hard to watch her be so obsessed. Are we really like that? She sat at work on auto-pilot thinking of him. She butt-dialed him drunk. She harassed all their mutual friends and got irate with her projection.

Why do we fall into the trap that by a certain age we should be married with kids? While I feel like I should pop one out by 33, I also wouldn't mind dating until 73 and getting married in the south of France like Tina Turner. In reality, her lifestyle isn't conducive to starting a family. David knows this. Hell, she dumped him for CNN!

I don't think she is pathetic for chasing the dream because when you are ready for love, you gotta go at it. However, it doesn't match her powerhouse personality to seem so needy. I would have more respect for her if she didn't try so hard. You're a man's dream, but no one wants a girl that clingy. That shit gets old real fast and they lose attraction. I know I lose attraction when men are all up under me. Where you going? What you doing? Uggh!

I just think she shouldn't try so hard. Put it out there that you're ready for love and let them come to you. Yes, there will be a few more rejects coming your way than you'd like but damn MJ, relax! I say, enjoy being single while you can. Guys love girls that love themselves. It gets lonely sometimes but you shouldn't give up all your standards just to cuddle. That too will pass.

She made a good point: archival penis can be tricky on the heart. That nipped my feelings for THE SOLDIER in the bud. I kept mulling over whether or not I should go back there and try again. Nope. He is the past and that is where the past belongs. It's never a good idea to go backwards. I know what I'm looking for and underneath all our romance are a ton of compromises I would be making. The stakes are too high to play with my heart. It's time to get to know a few new people. well, next year. It's time to get to know me.

Granted, Mary Jane may already know herself. Her life may be complete and all she needs is a family. But you can't go around judging everyone else's lifestyles and throwing shade. It seems like jealousy fuels her pursuit and not love. Nonetheless, the episode was very deep and very real. I just want to see her more powerful and less on the pathetic side.

(2/13/15)
Maybe its the cold weather but I'm feeling like a hot mess
Just not feeling all that and a bag of chips like I normally do.
Today, I realized I've been outta work for a year.
I've been slippin on my pimpin.
I decided it's because I get sidetracked with men.
I keep jumping off that love bridge and I'm mad at myself.
Usually, being mad at myself yields good results
Thinking about how I managed to get myself out of some deep shit.
Did some things no one can prepare you for.
Like a divorce without a lawyer.
Like a move from Chicago to Texas and back.
Like freelance to salary to hourly.
Blah Blah Blah..
Point is, I'm proven capable and it's time for a new accomplishment
I feel trapped inside my mind sometimes.
Chicago is a set up where only hustlers survive this big city
I feel like everyone has money making tips for me that I foresee going downhill
I gotta find my way and I have to find it fast
All of my goals are dependent upon me finding a new job.
Must stay focused and become a little more work and less play for a minute.
So, I'm sitting here on a Friday night hiding from friends and love interests.
Sending out resumes.
FISHING!

So, I'm gonna stop talking about a man because I am not Mary Jane and I'm in the clear, for now. That part of my life is kinda on auto pilot. I didn't ask for this romance, but it's going just the way I prefer it.

The real work is on building my brand! For the first time in a while, I'm not apprehensive about the uncertainty of life. I'm finally embracing the way my life unfolds. Time to walk in the direction life gives me. I spent yesterday evening recharging my batteries and preparing for this impending breakthrough.

I'm learning to not place value on how others feel my life should go. Not even my opinions on it. I've been completely wrong in some of my planning processes. My path was predestined before I was born and I just have to fall in alignment. I can always feel when I veer off the path, just as I am able to feel when I am back on track. Like I bike that's been fixed after the chain slipped, I'm ready to ride again.


Feels great to be on the verge of a breakthrough. Meditation is key. Watching my words is dire. Positive energy is a must at all times. During this time, I cannot afford to argue with anyone. I cannot get involved with anything that is none of my business. I cannot waste a single second on anything negative. This is a very sensitive moment in time. If I do this right, I will reap serious benefits. If I do it wrong, I've got another reset button to hit.

And, since I'm so over making comebacks, I am determined this is the last comeback I'm going to make. Something POWERFUL is about to happen professionally, spiritually, emotionally, and metaphysically. The only thing to do now is embrace it and listen to God. I'm ready.

I made it to the peace chain.
I lay the clothes out on an old towel.
A lady comes and grabs half of it.
I stand with my honk for peace sign.
The wind is blowing ferociously.
Nevertheless, the honks were rolling in.
Then, a man appears in front of me.
He holds a Styrofoam board with sketches on it.
He says, "Here, so your sign doesn't blow away."
The drawings are beautiful egyptian motifs.
I say, "This is amazing, you did this?"
"It's nothing", he says.
I look closer at him and he is handsome.
Looks just like Bob Marley.
He is my height. He has a jamaican accent.
He has on a red, green and black beanie over his locs.
He smells like Africa. And, he is smiling sweetly.
You'd have thought I dreamed him up.
He says, "I am there." and he points up
I look confused.
He says, "Do you hear the music?"
And then, I tune in to reggae music coming from above my head.
He points to his window and says, "the one with the flower."
I then notice the silk flower on the window sill.
He tapes my sign to his foam board.
I tell him to come stand with me sometime, brother.
He replies, "One Love"  with a nod and a smile and disappears.
The rest of the hour I stand with a more sturdy board.
And I thank god for sending the man.
I begin to cry when I realize there is someone watching over me.
God didn't have to do that.
It was clearly a metaphor.
Where did this angel come from?
Why now?
I hop on the bus and head home.
Feeling like I did my job for the day.
The community responded with love.
And I know I was in the right place at the right time.
Next week's theme will be food donations.
I'm so ready to do this.
So grateful to be a blessing.

 This pinterest article: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/494199759087722403/
really helped me get in the mind of my man. Most of the things sounded like something Cam would say. So, I will try to :

Remember He Loves Me A Lot More Than He Says (His Granny Told me So)

Remember Sex is a HUGE Deal to a Man (I Have the Bruises to Prove It!)

Know that He thinks I'm Beautiful All the Time (He always answers the phone with "Hey Beautiful")

Remember He is Trying (He Does a Good Job Correcting Mistakes Right Away and Rarely Repeats)

Remember Hints Don't Work (I'm Such A Hinter! He hates it!)

Remember to Put Him First (It's A Tough One Cause He is Terrible at Prioritizing me)

Remember to Appreciate Him (I've noticed when I give vocal appreciation, he responds lovingly)

Keep in Mind that Positivity is Attractive ( I remember him saying that he was attracted to my bubbly personality)

Watch My Words (I have the Power to Build My Man Up and Break him down. He always uses kind words when talking to me. I should take note that he must be sensitive too)

Leave Him ALONE! (He Needs Me Not to Nag. Happy Wife/Happy Life works both ways

TRY HIS HOBBIES! (So, I guess I gotta sit around with the fam and make nice with the dogs?)

We shall see how this goes! Good luck, girl!