LundenTown

As you may have learned, I'm all about the DIY! I've wasted money in the past on fancy gym memberships and I'm no longer interested in hustling backwards. I lost a ton of weight one year just by changing some eating habits and working out about 20 mins. a day with the help of YouTube and my Spotify playlists! 



 Here are a bunch of people I follow on instagram for every time I want to stop, drop and cardio!
Who are your fave online fitness gurus? 



 
Keaira Lashae @keairalashae

 
Mankofit (@massy.arias)


Nic B @getfitwithnic

  
@squatvideos

I've gone back and forth on regimens throughout my 8-year natural hair journey. Right now, it is shoulder length and free of chemicals. I keep heat away from my hair for 6 months out of the year. The other half of the year (colder months), I straighten it from time to time. I usually have to cut off some heat damage, leaving my hair always around the same length.

I've come to notice my growth spurts occur when I am eating clean and washing my hair with mud. Thus, I have gone back to mud-washing. More on that later. I also use organic apple cider vinegar when I wash. I co-wash my hair with conditioner on the weeks that I do not mud-wash. I also deep condition every week that I remember my hair. I make my own oil mixtures for deep conditioning and styling. I try to use best practices for detangling and sleeping. I wish I took care of everything else in my life, the way I take care of my hair!  Working on it!


Here are a bunch of pics of my best hair days!

Been searching around my desk for my journal. Can't find it and I need it. Reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg. She is the CCO of Facebook. I'm reading an anecdote about a girl who grew up poor with little sense of hope in an urban area and how she became the first to go to college in her family. She studied policy and learn about the systems of oppression in this country. I resonated with her feelings that people love to list the problems but rarely take action toward solution. Like her, I want to be that change. I'm not ready to start a whole non-profit. I fear that will actually be too concentrated to one area. I'd like to volunteer with different organizations all around the globe. I really feel like I waste my free time. I want to spend it doing something meaningful. Not lucrative, just meaningful.

I also resonated with another story told in the book by Rachel Simmons. She was a Rhodes scholar who was praised all her life by how smart she was. She disgraced the country and Ivy league school by dropping out of the program in Oxford. She said all her life she kept doing what was expected of her but never listened to the inner voice telling her what she did and did not want to do.

As women, we are trained to always appear academically successful, well-rounded and attractive. We should aim to please everyone and be everyone's friend. But what if I don't want to be any of those things? Stop telling me to be sugar and spice and everything nice!

Literally, movement is happening! Moving to a new home. Moving to new jobs. Moving into a new career path. I guess I'll tackle each thing one by one.

Moving day is fast approaching and it feels like there isn't enough time in a day. Part of me hopes my store hires some new people to make room for a crazy packed schedule.To our surprise, we had a smooth sailing through our credit check situation and landed a place for 250 less than we budgeted. It may be on the South Side, but it has updated kitchen appliances, cabinets, bathrooms and an exposed brick wall. I'm a huge fan. Connie gets the bigger room so I'm not paying as much. Chloe gets her own room. We plan to build, invest, and create media content.

I don't think I've felt a grind this heavy in a long time. Insulted by uncle, I reflect on my reason for taking on so many jobs. "Three jobs!", he cried. "Why do you need three jobs if you have a degree?" BECAUSE I CAN, SIR! Mostly, I did it just to prove that I can go from no job to 3 jobs. Just to prove I have work ethic. Just to prove I don't have to ask anyone for a dime. I can build my credit score, my savings account an pay my bills on my own. DO I ASK ANYONE FOR MONEY, EVER? NOPE. So leave me alone, you blithering buffoon!

Now that I got my rant out and I'm proud to not have resorted to Facebook or Twitter, I feel infinitely better. Circling back to my goals, I am finally ready to investigate a Masters program. The requirements are daunting but I know I am smart and capable. Looks like I will be taking on the College Development MA/ED.  I would like to work in student affairs, residence life, or in a charter school as their Mrs. Rita Pinkard. If I take 2 extra classes, I qualify to take the LPC exam and get the clinical licensing. Hopefully, I can do this slowly and easily. We gone see.

God has been very good to me and I shall take it one day at a time!

Been passing around my daily affirmations and getting some feedback about what my friends are going through. Their trials remind me of what I have overcome and how I choose to live my life.I spend a lot of effort on self-care to ward off the noise that threatens to ruin me. The constant wonder what a fool people must think I am for the mistakes I make is something I fight daily. Then, I remind myself I am a queen and I've always been good at a comeback.

Myleik says to celebrate the failure. Celebrate the fact that you've tried. Celebrate the fact that you haven't lost your mind.

It's time to spend time networking and making moves while I'm childless. Children are not a goal right now. Building a personal brand is. What does that look like? 

                               
Today, I deactivated my Facebook. Most can agree that this is a huge feat in this day and age. I have just completed Shonda Rhimes' new book, Year Yes, in which she details an 18 month period where she says YES! to everything that scares her. She was an introvert who wrapped herself in work and family and made no time for a social life. She never said YES! to anything.

I, on the other hand, tend to say yes to everything. Even the things I cannot do. I always make a way to please everyone. To go to everyone's birthday parties, baby showers, weddings. Some have decided this is an honor bestowed upon me. Lucky you, everybody likes you! So, I plaster a smile on my face and pose for the cameras.

No.

It is time for a Year of No for me. No, is a complete sentence. No is less expensive than yes. It doesn't take a miracle to pull no off. It's just less polite than yes. It's an asshole move, really. You see, I will have to turn down all these invitations to the things I do not want to do and risk hurting some feelings. People do not like it when you take control of your life. When you decide you don't need their validation. It's unnerving. How dare I reject this codependent behavior.

I don't want to celebrate my own self. Not my birthday, not a job, a baby, a wedding, not my funeral. So, what makes you think I want to celebrate you? I just want to got to work and go home. So, if you want access to me. Call me on my cell phone. Make my hotline bling. But don't make me have to put on clothes and leave the house.

I'm have a kind of quarter-life panic attack of sorts. I desperately want more access to things that cost a little more. This means I have to make more money. This means I have to apply to get a better job. This means I have to face the fear that I am not good enough to qualify for the job that pays more. Now, how can I do that if I am out drinking and partying with you? Shonda was all work and no play. I fear that I am all play and no work. Just pictures of "good times' on Facebook and the Gram.

Always, I find myself supporting someone's dream besides my own. I live paycheck to paycheck to afford to buy gifts, serve in the community, take a friend to dinner. I AM DONE SON!

The only person that I have to care for is me. The only person that will take care of me is me. If I don't get this shit in check, my kids will be screwed. I need room to grind. And, it starts with saying  NO!
Hell to the NO!
No thank You!
No Please.
No I am unable to do that.
NO!

My life has changed drastically since starting this blog. I think in list format. So, here goes:

-My 10 year relationship ended in divorce. No, we are not friends with cheaters.

-I moved to Michigan and came back. Neither a mistake, nor a good idea.

-I took a job life-altering job in the loop during Chicago's polar vortex. It was brutal. Had to bow out gracefully.

-Found out what a sociopath was the hard way. I can only tell that story over a stiff drink. PTSD is real.

-Working feverishly to scrub the Texas experiment from my memory.

-Currently bouncing back from all the risks I've taken living for others instead of myself.

-"He Turned It" by Tye Tribbett and anything from the Jhene Aiko "Sail Out" album has me ready for a comeback.

-Celibacy is a full time job. Le Sigh....

- I've developed 8 requirements in the love dept. to save myself from myself. #Guarded. (See point #4).

-Nowadays, I put my pain to use by fighting for peace in the streets of Chicago. It's time to stop running from home and become the powerful soul I know I am destined to be.

-My bff and I have started a private blog diary to vent. You need accountability partners when you're taking Tony Gaskins Jr. up on his challenge. (YouTube)

-My little sis and I have started a book club, if she would buy the damn book!

-Nightlife keeps us busy. #turndownforwhat